Buffy Summers VS Edward Cullen
by Faberrittanainthetardis
Summary: Fluffy, Fuffy one shot. Buffy, Faith and Dawn have a conversation about a certain Twilight vampire with contributions from Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Giles. Buffy/Faith, Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya pairings.


**Hey guys! This is just a random idea that popped into my head for some weird reason and I decided to write it to get me out of my writing block. There are a couple of things you should know such as Buffy and Faith are already together in this and Tara and Anya never died. That's all I think…Oh and I have to say (In case any easily offended Twilight fans read) that I am most definitely not criticising the book (Okay…Maybe I am, but I'm not doing it to offend anyone) and if you're reading this you're obviously a BTVS fan so you'd probably admit that Buffy could kick Edward's ass any day of the week lol. Anyway, Hope you enjoy! **

**To anyone who reads my other Fuffy fics: **

'**Standing on the edge' will definitely be up some time tomorrow. **

'**Journey of love and fear' will be up…Soon-ish? **

**Warning: Femslash**

"Faith?" Buffy whispered as she shifted slightly and prodded her girlfriend lightly in her arm "Hey, Faith?"

"I'm sleeping" Faith mumbled tiredly against Buffy's chest.

"No you're not" Buffy rolled her eyes at the brunette despite the smile that was tugging at her lips.

"Fine, I'm not" Faith said as she glanced up at Buffy "What is it?"

"Nothing" Buffy shrugged almost imperceptibly so as not to disturb Faith's position "It's just…I was kind of wondering if you knew why we were watching this"

"No idea" Faith responded softly "Ask your sister" she glanced across at Dawn who had position herself on the couch nearest the TV next to a rather bored looking Willow and Tara "Hey Dusk why a…"

"Shhh!" Dawn exclaimed without moving her eyes from the screen.

""But…"

"Faaaiiith!" Dawn whined as she turned to look at the slayer and pouted sulkily "You said you would be quiet!"

"But this movie sucks" Faith objected as she glanced at the guy on the screen "That stalker guy isn't even a real vampire"

"He's not a stalker!" Dawn practically shrieked causing Willow and Tara to start slightly next to her "He's just in love with Bella"

"He watches her sleep" Buffy pointed out incredulously "That isn't exactly normal Dawnie" she glanced at Faith who had looked at her questioningly and smiled warmly "Except you know…"

"I kind of have to agree with that" Tara spoke up from next to Dawn "Stalking is kind of creepy. Not very attractive"

"Tara!" Dawn turned to look at the Wiccan in offense as she clicked pause on the DVD remote "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Sorry" Tara shrugged with a small smile "The movie is really bad though"

"Seriously?" the teenager asked in disbelief "You don't think Edward is just…" she turned back the screen and released a typical fan-girl sigh before turning her attention back to them "Dreamy?"

"No" sounded the collective response from everyone in the room apart from Dawn.

"Whatever" Dawn muttered moodily as she turned back to the movie "You guys are only saying that because you've all turned gay now"

"I've always been gay" Tara chuckled as she squeezed Willow's hand earning herself a bright smile.

"Same here…Kind of" Faith grinned.

"Hmph" Dawn huffed.

"He isn't even a real vampire!" Buffy exclaimed "He sparkles for God sake! And he can _read minds_!"

"You're just saying that because you know he could kick your ass" Dawn sniped "You have superiority issues with vamps"

"W-w-What?" Buffy spluttered in shocked outrage "That guy could not kick my ass. I'm a vampire slayer so…I'd slay him!"

"Uh-huh" Dawn muttered in a mock doubtful tone "Of course you could Sis"

"I'd stake him!" Buffy persisted stubbornly "Tell her Faith!"

Faith rolled her eyes but glanced at Dawn before speaking dutifully "Stop being an ass little D, you know your sister could kick Edward Cullen's sparkly Emo ass any day of the week, probably with one hand tied behind her back"

"Whatever" Dawn muttered before she turned her movie back on and went back to staring intently at the screen.

"Thanks" Buffy beamed down at her girlfriend.

"No problem" Faith shrugged as she leaned up and kissed the blonde softly. Buffy responded instantly and deepened the kiss as her hand drifted idly to the other girl's cheek.

"Hey!" Dawn exclaimed as she looked over at them causing them to pull away breathlessly "Can't you two get a room or something?"

"Brilliant idea!" Faith exclaimed as she jumped to her feet, pulling Buffy gently with her "Have fun with your fictional glittery vamps Dusk. We're going upstairs"

Buffy shot Willow and Tara an apologetic look as she allowed Faith to pull her quickly from the room.

"Guess it's just us than" Willow muttered as she glared at the doorway enviously "Here. Watching this"

"Shhh!" Dawn shushed her quickly.

**-Para-**

"Wow, its dark" Buffy muttered between kisses as she stumbled up the stairs and down the hallway with Faith.

"Mmmhm" Faith chuckled, her eyes sparkling mischievously in the dark as she grasped the bottom of Buffy's shirt and pulled it over her head. She tossed it randomly behind them before she pulled the other slayer close and kissed her passionately while continuing to walk them backwards towards their bedroom.

"Mmph!" Buffy exclaimed into the kiss as her back collided hard with the closed bedroom door. She pulled away to catch her breath "Ouch"

"Sorry B" Faith said sincerely as she planted a light kiss on Buffy's collarbone and swept a hand delicately across her back.

"It's fine" Buffy reached behind her and opened the door causing them to stumble through it, almost landing on the ground in the process. The door was quickly kicked shut by Faith and a mere moment later they landed on the soft sheets of their bed.

"Faith…" Buffy mumbled between kisses from the brunette "Faith…We…wait"

"What?" Faith pulled back breathlessly to look at her girlfriend in confusion "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" Buffy shrugged sheepishly "It's just…Do you really think I could kick that vamps ass?"

"Yeah" Faith nodded distractedly before she captured Buffy's lips with her own and pressed her backwards onto the bed.

"Are you sure?" Buffy gasped for breath as the younger girl kissed a soft trail down her neck "I mean he's really fast and he _can_ read minds"

"I'm sure B" Faith responded.

"But what about the…" Buffy began to speak but trailed off as Faith rolled off of her, onto her back on the bed and released a disgruntled sigh "What?" she turned onto her side and lent up on her elbow to look down at her girlfriend "What is it?"

"I was kind of busy trying to seduce you" Faith complained complete with a pout that Buffy couldn't help but find adorable "And you're paying more attention to fictional vampires than you are to me right now…"

"I'm sorry" Buffy attempted as shuffled slightly closer and placed her hand on Faith's stomach "I'm really sorry" when the brunette still refused to look at her Buffy rolled her eyes and clambered on top of her "Hey"

"What?" Faith had to fight to hold back the smile tugging at her lips as Buffy beamed down at her.

"I'm sorry" Buffy apologised sincerely as she entwined both of her hand's with Faith's on either side of her head "I'll make it up to you?"

"Yeah?" Faith raised an eyebrow at her, a mischievous grin finally appearing on her face "You have a lot of making up to do"

"I guess I should get started than" Buffy laughed before she leaned down and kissed Faith passionately, one hand releasing the other girl's to thread through dark hair. Just as Faith deepened the kiss however she pulled back.

"What now?" Faith groaned irritably.

"Nothing" Buffy gently tugged Faith up into a sitting position "It's just that…" she wrapped her fingers around the hem of Faith's shirt "You're wearing way too many clothes"

"Oh, yeah?" Faith laughed as she lifted her arms allowing the blonde to pull the shirt up and over her head "Maybe you should…" she lay back and pulled Buffy down on top of her to whisper in her ear "Take 'em off"

Buffy inhaled deeply at the sound of her girlfriend's husky voice and pulled back just enough to kiss her "I'm definitely on it"

**-Para-**

"Hey!" Faith said brightly as she bounded into the kitchen the next morning "What's everybody doing here?" she glanced around at Willow, Tara, Dawn, Xander and Anya.

"Looks like somebody got some last night" Anya stated in a bored tone as she took in Faith's positively glowing appearance.

"Ew" Dawn muttered as she glanced at the ex-demon "The fact that you said that means you're talking about my sister" when Anya merely stared at her blankly the teenager shook her head "Never mind Anya"

"Who used all of the milk?" Faith frowned as she attempted to pour milk onto the fruit loops she had poured into a bowl.

"That would be Dawnie" Buffy said distractedly as motioned to Dawn's practically overflowing cereal bowl.

"It was not!" Dawn exclaimed much to everybody's disbelief.

"What are you doing anyway?" Faith asked as she wrapped her arms around Buffy from behind and planted a kiss on her neck "You seem distracted…again"

"You're still soaked" Buffy giggled as she squirmed slightly in Faith's embrace but made no actual move to pull away despite the brunette's slightly damp body and hair pressing against her.

"That's und…" Anya began to say but trailed off.

Both slayers glanced over to see Xander had clamped a hand over a disgruntled looking Anya's mouth in an effort to stop her most likely crude comment.

"Anyway…" Willow said in an effort to change the topic "What were you saying Buff?"

"Right" Buffy turned slightly more businesslike and straightened up in Faith's arms "So listen up guys…I need you to answer this honestly, okay?" she waited until she saw five nods and felt a nod against her neck "Who would win in a fight? Me or Edward Cullen?"

"Who's Edward Cullen?" Anya asked obliviously.

"A sparkly vampire"

"Well than you, obviously" Anya shrugged "You are a slayer after all" she paused and frowned after a moment "Wait, what kind of vampire sparkles? He sounds more like a fairy"

"The sparkles are awesome!" Dawn defended stubbornly "It's original"

"See?" Buffy grinned triumphantly "Even Anya knows that since he's a vamp I would just stake him"

"Or sleep with him" Xander quipped without thinking.

Dawn snorted into her cereal, spraying milk and fruit loops across the table.

"Hey!" Buffy and Faith exclaimed in unison.

"Ow!" Xander winced as Faith punched him in the arm "I'm just saying" he shrunk back at the glares he was receiving from both slayers and stepped behind Anya. Just as he did so the front door flung open and Giles barrelled into the room.

"What's the emergency?" he asked breathlessly as he glanced at everyone in the room, his gaze hovering on Dawn for a moment "what happened?"

"Nothing" Dawn muttered embarrassedly as she hurriedly wiped milk off her face "Buffy's having a meltdown"

"A meltdown?" Giles asked in concern as he looked at Buffy "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" Buffy shrugged sheepishly "It's just…Theoretically I can kill any vampire, right? Even one that can read minds, runs super fast and sparkles like a 500 carat diamond?"

"I've never heard of such a vampire" Giles said nervously "But yes…As a slayer you would be able to kill it. Why, has something happened that I should know about?"

"It's a movie" Faith rolled her eyes "Dawn made a comment yesterday about how Edward Cullen could kick B's ass"

"Edward who?" Giles asked in confusion.

"Never mind" came the collective response.

"So who thinks I could do it?" Buffy asked causing 5 hands to rise "Dawn!"

"What?" Dawn shrugged innocently "I'm still sure he could kick your ass"

Buffy released a heavy sigh.

"This is ridiculous" Faith muttered "Listen up little D, your sparkly vamp could not kick Buffy's ass okay? Think about it…Scenario one…Vamp attacks Buffy, Buffy stakes vamp, vamp goes poof"

"And scenario 2?" Tara asked curiously.

"Scenario 2" Faith smirked "Vamp hits on Buffy, Faith beats vamp to a pulp, Faith stakes vamp, vamp goes poof. So it's a win/win situation for us"

"Whatever" Dawn rolled her eyes at them and stood up "I'm going to school"

"You'd really stake him for me?" Buffy grinned as she turned around in Faith's embrace and looped her arms around her neck "If he was hitting on me?"

"Hell yeah" Faith nodded surely "Nobody gets to hit on my girl"

"That's sweet" Buffy smiled softly before she leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to the brunette's lips.

"Besides" Faith grinned as they pulled back "You're a hell of a lot hotter than that Cullen guy is and I'm pretty sure you're the only one who can keep up with me in a certain department" she waggled her eyebrows mischievously causing Buffy to blush crimson. A soft cough caught their attention and they quickly remembered they weren't alone.

"Yes, well…" Giles muttered as he wiped his glasses furiously and backed towards the door "I should be going"

"Yeah…Us too" Xander muttered dazedly earning himself another smack in the arm from Anya.

"Come on, B" Faith grinned as she grabbed Buffy's hand and pulled her towards the doorway "I think I need another shower after all that Twilight crap"

"Huh" Xander muttered his gaze on the stairs.

"Let's go!" Anya enthused as she dragged Xander off his seat and towards the front door "We have to continue what we started before we were so rudely interrupted…"

"That was an interesting conversation" Willow muttered to Tara as they found themselves alone in the kitchen.

"Yeah" Tara nodded with a soft smile as she glanced at their entwined hands resting in front of them.

"So…" Willow twisted slightly in her chair "Who do think is better at seeing the future? Me or Alice?"

Tara stared at her disbelievingly for a moment "Are you kidding?"

"Yes" Willow nodded quickly "Um…Sort of"

"Well than in that case…Your power is stronger" Tara laughed at her girlfriend before she leaned forward and kissed her soundly.

THE END


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